The Chris "TWO" DeMeglio story begins October 7th 1983. He was born in the wild outback of Pakistan where he was raised by a pack of wolves. After five years he became the Alpha Male. In 1990 he was found by Jesus, who is a Steelers fan, and brought to the USA. While in America he was adopted by CBS. They forced him to work as a slave for Martha F'N Stewart's sweat shop. At age 12, he escaped and filed a lawsuit that won him millions. He retired from the television business soon after. His rights were retained by Mike Wallace of "60 Minutes" (the original one not that bitch show "60 Minutes II"). He was eventually traded to WSRU-TV for a player to be named later.

After much convincing by the big wigs in the SRU communication department, he came out of retirement. He was quickly named director for Gettin' Later an upstart late night television show.